Memoirs of a Good Boy
by Good boy-chan
Summary: Tobi is an orphan living in Kagushigakure. He is hated for the crimes for his parents, so he tries to distance himself from his past. But he has a secret that could very well threaten his goal, the village, and the one he loves. Tobi x OC, Zetsu x OC. ON HIATUS.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello, my loverly readers! Welcome to "Memoirs of a Good Boy"! This is what my twisted mind imagined what Tobi's background would be like. I'm sorry if you hate OCs, but I'm compensating for an entire fictional village here, so OCs abound.**

**Anyway, enjoy! **

**I do not own Naruto. If I did, bad things would happen to Kabuto and Orochimaru, Tayuya would still be alive and kicking ass, and the male members of the Akatsuki would be models who went shirtless all the time.**

**Edited: May 19, 2012**

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><p>It began in 1845*, the year Konoha was established. In that same year, another village was founded. Its creator was Erito Tandoku, and the village was called the Village Hidden in the Shadows, aka Kagushigakure.<p>

You see, Tandoku had a special Kekkei Genkai; he was able to melt into shadows and stay there undetected. It was useful for spying missions at night, but not so good during days with full sunlight, as there were next to no shadows.

His clan, the Erito, who had joined the newly formed Village Hidden in the Leaves, had kicked him out for many reasons.

The first was his belief. His philosophy was that everyone should be treated equally, and that no human was lower than another. This went directly against what the Erito believed. The Head of the clan, his father Erito Dento, had slaves from distant lands, and treated them like trash. As a result, he and his father bickered constantly.

He also impregnated and secretly married a girl outside of their clan, a slave named Baindo Utsukushi. It was an utter disgrace to the Erito, as he was the clan heir and was already in an arranged marriage.

After being kicked out with his new and extremely pregnant wife, Tandoku gathered followers who agreed with his philosophy. He swore to right the wrongs of the earth in their treatment of other humans.

Eventually, their organization grew to be too big. They had to form a village; they couldn't live any longer as traveling nin. Having no hitai-ate, Konoha was bound to ask questions and be suspicious of their motives. Tandoku was a former Konoha-nin, after all.

It was then that the Village Hidden in the Shadows was born.

Naturally, Tandoku became the first Kuraikage (dark shadow). Being the founder and possessing such a Kekkei Genkai enabled him the right to claim this title.

And it is where our story begins.

**~A hundred years after the founding of the village~**

"You can't catch me, Tobi-kun!" a feminine voice called out in delight. A hapless cabbage merchant had only this call to warn him of the impending doom for his precious cabbages before a young girl of about eight ran into his cart.

He stopped. He stared at the now upturned cart, at the many cabbages on the ground, and finally, at the young girl with long blonde hair who was nervously staring at her feet and fidgeting uncomfortably.

"Yinasni-hime!" he cried. "This is the third – I repeat – THIRD time this week! I need to make a living! So can you PLEASE stop playing games with Tobi so that I can survive?"

She flashed him the infamous "Yinasni" grin. "Sure, Kyabetsu-san! Sorry 'bout that!"

He sighed. "Yinasni-hime...you are the daughter of the Kuraikage! Not to mention that you are also his heir! So please stop acting like a tomboy and act like a lady!"**

She stuck out her tongue rudely at him. "I know that! I can do what I want before that though! C'mon Tobi!" she called to her unseen friend. "Let's go find somewhere else to play!"

"Tobi will help Yinasni-chan because Tobi is a good boy!" exclaimed a boy her age, leaping out of the many trees that were dotted everywhere. He had spiky brown/black hair and deep green eyes.

He held up a piece of old pottery. It looked like it had been recently dug up, and was orange with black swirls on it. "What does Yinasni-chan think of this? Tobi found it when he fell over while playing."

She studied it for a second before grinning. "It's very nice, Tobi-kun. I think..."

Her sentence was cut off by a random woman shouting. She was rather fat, and had one of her pudgy fingers shoved at Tobi. "GAAAAH! THE DEMON!"

Tobi head whipped around in a somewhat comical fashion. "What? Who? Where? Tobi is confused. That lady is scary. Tobi is scared!"

Yinasni smiled nervously; she knew exactly what the woman was screaming her head off about. "Tobi-kun?" she said. "I'm going to go talk to the nice lady over there. Why don't you help Kyabetsu-san pick up his cabbages?"

"Tobi will help because–"

"–Tobi is a good boy, I know!" Kyabetsu snapped. When his precious cabbages got hurt, so did his patience.

"Huh? How did Kyabetsu-san know what Tobi was going to say? Has Tobi said it before? IS KYABETSU-SAN A MIND READER?"

Yinasni chuckled at Tobi's antics. She was used to them by now, but they were still amusing.

Her smile faded as she stalked over to the still-screaming lady. "Hey lady, can you shut up? I'm trying to last a day without getting my eardrums blasted out, thank you very much."

The lady looked miffed, to say in the least. Well, at least it stopped her hysterics. "I dare say! How dare you speak to me like that! I am the Daimyo's wife!" She drew herself to her full height in an effort to seem more intimidating. However, she was a very short woman in addition to being fat, and Yinasni was a very tall eight-year-old.

The heiress yawned. "Don't give me that crap. I've met the Daimyo's wife before. On multiple occasions, in fact. So who are you, really, and can you stop screaming at my friend? It's annoying and you're freaking him out. And you interrupted me about to give him my thoughts on a lovely piece of pottery."

The lady just stood there, gaping like a fish. "Y-y-you and th-th-that…"

Yinasni put on an air of concern. In reality she wanted the lady to go jump into a tank filled with sharks and her new friend Kisame (who she was convinced was half shark) and then go warm her toes down there, but as the heiress, she had no choice but to act like she cared. "Hey...are you al–"

"How can you be friends with someone like HIM?" the lady gasped dramatically, pointed the same pudgy finger in Tobi's general direction while staring in what seemed to be horror at the girl. She was actually pointing at Kyabetsu, but Yinasni figured that it'd be funnier to just leave the hand there. "He's a–"

"Shut up," the girl growled. The woman looked a bit taken aback by the amount of killing intent leaking out of the eight-year old. "Tobi-kun is my friend. That's that."

The woman started gaping like a fish again. "But he's–"

"I'm fully aware of what he is and what he can do."

"But his–"

"I'm also fully aware of what his mother has done. However, that does not mean that he is the same person as her."

"I give up!" The lady threw her hands up in exasperation before stalking away angrily.

Yinasni smirked in victory. _Better get back to Tobi before he kills all of the cabbages,_ she thought, hearing Kyabetsu let out a string of profanities.

"Ah! Story time!" Tobi exclaimed sitting on the ground in order to listen to Kyabetsu's "story".

Yinasni sniggered under her breath. She composed herself when she said, "Tobi-kun, it's time to go home now."

"Aww...does Tobi have to? Kyabetsu-san was getting to the good part–"

"No matter what you think, that was not a story that he was shouting," she responded, sweatdropping a bit. "Now c'mon, baka, let's go! We're two freaks who have got nothing to lose so..." A mischievous grin split her face in two. "Let's give you candy! And annoy Daddy!"

"Candy? Candy? All Tobi heard was candy. Is Yinasni going to give Tobi some?"

"Uh huh. But you have to come with me if you want the candy!" And off she sprinted.

"For lollipops!" Tobi declared as he started running and promptly fell on his face, jumped back up with a happy grin, and started running after the girl again.

"Oi..." Kyabetsu stared at the mess the two had caused, shaking his head in disappointment. "Bakas..." he muttered somewhat fondly as he got out a broom from the bottom of his cart and began sweeping up the cabbage-y remains.

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><p><strong>*That is totally not when Konoha was founded, but just go with it, okay?<strong>

****For the purposes of this story the role of Kuraikage is hereditary.**

**Review please! **

**Sasuke. Lacks. Hatred.**

**Later. :D**

**P.S. This is all fictional (fanFICTION). Yes I know that Madara was around for the founding of Konoha as an adult, but this is what happened if Tobi wasn't Madara (or whoever the hell he is now, fuck you Kishimoto).**


	2. Chapter 2

**So…yeah.**

**I do not own Naruto.**

**Edited: May 19, 2012**

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>~<strong>Six years later, at the Gakko (Academy)~<strong>

Sofu, the teacher, strode in front of his students, a sneer on his faces. "Listen up! You bakas don't have enough talent to fight off one genin in the village, let alone leave here! Excluding the honorable Yinasni-hime," he paused, bowing to her.

Yinasni gave him a look that said, "Really?" Despite her father being the Kuraikage, she hated being treated like royalty. She longed to be treated as a normal ninja. She was tempted to take her long blonde hair out of its ponytail and strangle him. Sofu-sensei got on her nerves soooo much.

"So!" he continued. "What we're going to do is test you. You knew that this day was coming. I told you about this for four years now. It is the ultimate test of discipline, of courage, of talent, of-"

"Can we just start already?" Tobi asked in a bored voice that was slightly muffled by the mask he wore. He had abandoned talking in third person ever since he enrolled in the Gakko. Now he settled for being slightly schizophrenic. His schizophrenia was rare, though.

Sofu glared at him. "Fine. We can start.

"Here is the test! We will separate you into teams, three students to team. We will also assign you a jonin as your 'instructor'. He or she will give you a small 'mission' that will challenge your abilities. If you pass, I will award you with the honorable and esteemed Shadow hitai-ate. The team that you were on will be your team. However, I do not know what you will actually be doing, as each instructor's test is different. Good luck.

"I shall now call out the teams," Sofu said. Everyone straightened up in their seats a bit. This was the moment that they were waiting for. "Seeing as there are only twelve students this year, there will only be four teams. Team 1 will be Okubyona Raion, Suzu Otoko, and Orokana Kakashi. Team 2 will be Senotakai Yaro, Kurai Uma, and Hansamuna Tori. Team 3 will be Erīto Yinasni, Fuyo Tobi, and Shizen Zetsu. Team 4 will be Shojo Utsukushi, Nagai Kami, and Me Ijona.

"And now for the instructors. Team 1 is assigned to Kuroi Inu. He is in Room 251. Team 2 is assigned to Kanpekina Ningen. He is in Room 307. Team 3 is assigned to Nara Taidana. She is in Room 189. That's the room next-door. Team 4 is assigned to Kanpekina Josei. She is in Room 491.

"I wish you good luck! Now be off!"

Yinasni squealed excitedly as soon as Sofu left the room. She hugged Tobi tightly. "Yay! We're on the same team! I'm so happy!"

"Me too!" Tobi exclaimed, hugging his best friend back.

"Excuse me?" a voice said. They turned to see a light green-haired boy facing them. Half of his face was black and the other half was white. "Are we going to go now or what? **Why the hell are you asking them that? We can go on our own.** But you heard Sofu-sensei, they are our teammates—**Shut it. You can go alone.**" His black half seemed to be arguing with his white half.

Yinasni studied him. She knew of the Shizen clan; as heiress, she was required to. The Shizen were known for their plant-like jutsu and progress in genetic jutsu. She had also heard that a Shizen prodigy obsessed with Venus flytraps was in her grade. Could this be the boy? If so, she was going to be sure to be careful around him. The Shizen were also known to be carnivorous, and humans were included on their menu. She was used to schizophrenia because of Tobi, but this kid slightly scared her. Not that she would admit it, of course.

He wore a camouflage high-necked shirt, black baggy pants, and arm-length black fingerless gloves with standard black ninja shoes. Was he hiding something? Most people in the village preferred to wear tight-fitting clothes, as they were less likely to catch. All of these loose-fitting clothes made her instantly suspicious. _I guess I'm not one to talk,_ she thought. _I'm wearing a cloak._ But she would not let her guard down around him.

She also noticed that his toes were black and white as well._ Is his entire body like this?_ she wondered.

Tobi did not know all this, and so proceeded to bombard their new teammate with questions without fear of being eaten. "My name is Tobi! Are you Zetsu-san? What is your favorite color? What does your clan do? Do you like the color orange at all? Would you like to be my friend?"

"Um...yes, green, **eat people**, not really, and sure why not," Zetsu replied, both sides of his face looking a bit stunned and mildly amused.

"Yay!" Tobi exclaimed, running to go hug him. Apparently he didn't care that his new friend was a cannibal.

Instantly the air filled with a staggering killer intent. "Do. Not. **EVER.** Touch. Me," Zetsu growled.

Tobi shrank back. "Ok," he said in a small voice.

"I'm Yinasni," their other teammate said. "Nice to meet you."

"Same here," Zetsu said. "**I really don't care.** Oh be nice. **Shaddup.** You shut up. **No you! **Of all the times to pick a fight, you pick now? **Why yes, yes I do.** Gah, I don't have time for this. **Neither do I.** Shut it!"

"Well this is very funny and all, but shouldn't we be heading over to see our instructor now?" the girl asked.

"**It's not funny.** It kinda is. **Be quiet!** Anyways, Yinasni-hime, yes. **You don't need to add 'hime' to her name.** But it's respectful! **You don't see Tobi saying 'hime', do you?** He's known her a while, everyone knows that. **Fine, you win this round.** Yippee skip."

Yinasni sweatdropped. "Let's go." She grabbed Tobi, who was ranting about unicorns and bloody knives, and dragged him to the next room. Zetsu followed still talking with himself.

Once they entered, they saw a woman standing by the window. She had long black hair that reached her knees, dark brown eyes, an angular face, and light tan skin. She wore a tight-fitting black t-shirt, camouflage shorts, knee-length black kunoichi boots, an elbow-length camouflage fingerless glove on her left hand, and a katana on her back. Her hitai-ate was wrapped around her right arm, but the light reflected off of it, making it impossible to see the insignia on it at Yinasni's angle.

"Yo," the woman said. "My name is Nara Taidana, and you're late."

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>Taidana took a moment to look at the three kids that had run through the door.<p><p>

The one girl had long blonde hair. It was up in an odd-looking ponytail, and another part of her hair covered her left eye, which was blue. She wore an open black high-necked cloak with odd little bells on the edge, a netted shirt, short shorts, and the same black knee-length kunoichi boots that the Nara herself wore.

One of the boys, the one who was yelling about unicorns and bloody knives, had spiky black hair and deep green eyes. He wore a black tight shirt with black pants, black gloves, and a mask that covered the lower half of his face.

The third student, another boy, had a body that was half white and half black with golden eyes. His black half seemed to be talking with his white half. He wore a camouflage high-necked t-shirt, black baggy pants, and arm-length black fingerless gloves with standard black ninja shoes.

_Yes,_ Taidana thought. _This is going to be interesting._

"Come in and sit down...anywhere," she said, gesturing at the empty desks. They quickly complied. Taidana pulled up a chair and sat in front of them. "Alright, let's go around and—"

She was interrupted by a gasp of surprise from Yinasni. "You have a Konoha hitai-ate!" Her eyes narrowed in suspicion. "Why do you have one?"

_Ah yes,_ Taidana thought sarcastically. _The future Kuraikage. She was probably trained to see conspiracies all around her. Although after what happened to her mother, I don't blame her._

"I was formerly a Konoha chunnin, but then I got bored. I get bored easily. I decided to come here to Kagushi and train. I found I liked it here more so I stayed and took the Jonin exams. Obviously I passed. I just never bothered to change my hitai-ate cuz I'm a lazy ass procrastinator," she finished, eyes darting to the side and back in front of her. _Wow, that was really lame,_ she thought.

"That's my mini life story. Now I want you guys to go around the circle and tell me your name, likes, dislikes, hobbies, and dreams. We'll start with Ponytail."

"Ponytail? Eh, whatever. My name is Erito Yinasni. I like music, dancing, being different, strange people, and my friends, especially Tobi cuz he's my best friend. I dislike killing, prejudice-slash-prejudiced people, people who are stronger than me, and Konoha."

_Great,_ Taidana thought. _Another avenger. She just screams Uchiha._

"My hobbies are singing, writing music, and dancing. My dream is to become a ninja dancer after destroying Konoha."

_Yup. Avenger material right here. The dancer part surprised me, though._

"Alright. Nice to meet you. Now to Blackie to your right," the jonin said, pointing at Tobi.

"Hi there! My name is Fuyo Tobi! I like candy, Yinasni, and nice people! I dislike vegetables, and mean people! My hobbies are hanging out with Yinasni, training, and pulling pranks! My dream—" His voice became serious. "—is to show everyone that the apple does fall far from the tree."

_Okaaaay then. Odd kid. Keep an eye on him._

"And last but not least, Camo."

"My name is Shizen Zetsu. My likes are gardening, nature, and **meat. The bloodier the better.** My dislikes are eating veggies, **loud and obnoxious people,** and prejudice. My hobbies are gardening and reading. My dream is to teach others to, as my clan says, **'Fear the Flower'**."

_Ok...cannibal who like plants. Mental note: give him LOTS of rabbit on mini-mission._

"Alright I guess it's my turn, since it's only fair. My name is Nara Taidana. I like eating, sleeping, training with my katana that I have named Kuraikei, and reading. I hate work and prejudice. My hobbies are sleeping and training with Kuraikei. I don't really have a dream as of now, but I'm trying to find something to fight for.

"Well! Now that we're all acquainted, it's time I give you the test."

All three of them leaned in to hear. She laughed in her head at their eagerness.

"...But not until tomorrow."

"WHAAAAAT?" they shouted.

"Hey, I'm giving you time to train and rest up. We'll meet tomorrow at 10 in Training Area 82. Also I really need to finish working on this new jutsu. Later!" Taidana smiled at them, performed a hand sign, and puffed away in a plume of smoke.

Yinasni groaned. "Great. We've got an instructor who doesn't really care for us."

"Well we might as well go train," Tobi said.

"Kay...do you wanna come with us Zetsu?"

"Nah," he replied. "I got this new flower breed that I've been working on in the clan compound, so I better get back to it before it wilts. **If it dies, someone will die.**"

Cue sweatdrop. "Okaaay then. See you tomorrow!"

"Let's just hope we don't fail," Tobi muttered before he was dragged off by Yinasni to train.

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><strong>A huge thanks to <span>Tigers and Dragons<span> and rainclawwarriorcat who both reviewed. Thanks! :)**

**Review please!**

**Sasuke. Lacks. Hatred.**

**Later :D**


	3. Chapter 3

**I don't own Naruto. How sad. 'Tis a shame.**

**Edited: May 19, 2012**

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><p>"I'm home!" Yinasni called as she entered the Erīto compound.<p>

Instantly she was tackled by a dark-blue haired boy who looked to be around six. "Ane-chan! You're back! Did you finish the test? Didja pass? Didja didja didja?"

She laughed at his antics. "No not yet. Taidana-sensei is giving us the day to train, and our test is gonna be tomorrow. That's all."

"Aw..." he pouted. "I wanted to see ane-chan's hitai-ate."

"Don't worry," she promised. "I'll bring it home tomorrow. Hey, guess who's here?"

"Ani-chan!" he cried, running towards Tobi.

"There's my ototo!" Tobi said happily, picking up the smaller boy.

Yinasni looked at them with happiness. The little boy, Ato, wasn't really her brother; he was an orphan from Konoha that had been found wandering in the forest near the village. Despite the fact that he was from...there, Yinasni adored him. He was so innocent and oblivious to the spite and anger around him. He viewed Tobi as his "ani-chan" because he had "always wanted a brother". It warmed her heart when the two hung out.

"Ane-chan...do you need to go train now?" he asked, black eyes wide.

She sighed in disappointment. "I'm afraid so, ototo. That's why ani-chan and I are here."

"Oh." His face fell for a second, and then brightened. "Can I watch you? Please?"

"I'm afraid not," Yinasni said in a stern voice. "At least not on the field. But you can watch from my room."

"Yay! Ane-chan's room!" he shouted excitedly. He immediately scampered up the stairs and entered her room.

She sighed. "Hang on, Tobi; I need to go set some boundaries for him."

He raised an eyebrow at her.

"The last time I let him in my room, it turned into a canvas for his 'art'. Basically, he covered everything in with green paint."

"Green?"

"His favorite color. Apparently he filled a balloon with green paint and exploded it."

"Ah. You'd better go then."

Yinasni gave him a look that said "THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR UNDERSTANDING" and raced upstairs.

"Ane-chan! Ane-chan!" Ato happily cried when he caught sight of his older sister. He was bouncing on the bed.

"Ato, before I start training, we need to set some boundaries," Yinasni said sternly.

His face fell slightly. "But why?" he whined.

"'Cuz I don't want my room to become an explosion of green again."

"Hehe…" He rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. "Sorry, ane-chan."

"It's ok," she replied, smiling. "Just no bringing in art supplies. No touching my ninja weapons that I have in here. Besides that, you can sit on my bed and look out the window. Get it?"

"Got it!" he exclaimed, rushing to give her a hug.

She picked him up and swung him around. "Good."

"I love you, ane-chan," he said, nuzzling his face into hers.

Her heart melted. "I love you too." She gave him a quick peck on the cheek and set him down. "Now I need to go train with Tobi."

"Kay! Bye bye, ane-chan!"

"Bye, ototo!" She raced outside to the training field. Tobi was already waiting for her.

"Ready?" he asked.

She set herself in a ready stance. "Ready."

Tobi attacked first, racing at her with a kunai in hand. Yinasni waited until he was just about to hit her, and then she sidestepped him, grabbing his wrist as he passed. She proceeded to throw him over her head towards a conveniently placed tree. He flipped over so that he landed on the side of the tree with his feet. He pushed off and launched himself at Yinasni, throwing four shuriken at her. She blocked the shuriken with a kunai, flicking it around expertly.

Then her eyes widened as she saw a kunai flying at her. She threw her kunai at it to deflect it away. But as she did, she glimpsed an explosive tag attached. _Damn it!_ she thought as she pulled her cloak around her. The world blew around her as the tag exploded.

Yinasni opened her cloak and looked around. That's when Tobi's fist connected with her face. She flew into the air and landed a few meters away.

"Why aren't you burned?" Tobi yelled.

Yinasni grinned as she sat up, rubbing her jaw. "My cloak is fire resistant. It was made specially for me."

Tobi growled in disappointment.

"My turn!" she yelled. She grabbed a small bell from the hem of her cloak, unhooking it. Closing her eyes slightly, she sent chakra into the bell and rang it once…twice…thrice.

Tobi shut his eyes and shoved two fingers into his ears, but it was too late.

He opened his eyes to see nothing but darkness all around him.

_Great,_ he thought. _Genjutsu._

Suddenly he heard the sound of laughter. A woman's laughter. His eyes widened as he realized who it was. Hurriedly he attempted to cut off his chakra flow. "Kai!"

Nothing happened. The laughter was getting closer.

He panicked. "Kai! Kai! Kai!"

The outline of a face began to appear.

He squeezed his eyes shut. "KAI!" The laughter abruptly stopped.

He opened his eyes to see that was back in Yinasni's training area. And that she was holding a kunai to his throat.

"Check and mate," she said, grinning.

"Fine, fine, you win," he grumbled. "That was a low blow, Yinasni."

She shrugged. "In the ninja world, sometimes you've got to act dirty."

"What was that genjustu?"

"It makes the person see a terrifying memory. Why?"

"Hmph."

She laughed and removed her kunai. "Aw, just admit that I won already."

"Hn."

"Look at you! You sound like those Uchihas."

"Hn."

"Are you related to them or something?"

"Hn."

"Is that a yes 'hn' or a no 'hn'?"

"I need to go."

Yinasni stopped, looking at him strangely. "Ok…well, I'll see you tomorrow!"

"Hn. Bye, Yinasni." With that, he walked away, leaving Yinasni to wonder what was wrong with him.

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><p><strong>Thank you to <strong>**Tigers and Dragons**** and rainclawwarriorcat ****for reviewing. Your input is greatly appreciated. :)**

**Review please!**

**Sasuke. Lacks. Hatred.**

**Later. :D**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey guys! Ok, so the last chapter was more of a filler chapter...and this one is too...but the battle with Taidana is in the next chapter! This chapter, though, provides needed insight into Tobi, Zetsu and Yinasni's backgrounds (or at least in my opinion).**

**So read, review, and enjoy! :D**

**This chapter is dedicated to rainclawwarriorcat****,**** who wrote an awesome yaoi fanfic for me called "Merry Christmas, teme!" Go! Read it after you are done reading this! But only if you like yaoi. Like me. Yeah.**

**Sorry if this is too angsty for you…I was in an angsty mood. Hehe…**

**Flashbacks and thoughts=**_**italicized**_**. So, basically, that means more than half of this chapter...**

**ATTENTION: Before reading this, go to Youtube and look up "Your Dying Heart" by Adrian von Ziegler. Let it play while you read. Put it on repeat if you must! The piece just fits with the overall mood of the chapter (or at least in my opinion).**

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**...Got it? Good. Now read.**

**Edited: May 19, 2012**

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><p>Tobi walked away from the Erito compound, his hands shoved in his pockets. Darn Yinasni and that stupid genjutsu...why did she have to be a genjutsu prodigy? And how on earth was he best friends with her? She was the princess, the next-in-line for the position of Kuraikage...and what was he? Nothing but an orphaned boy who was hated by everyone for no apparent reason. He laughed bitterly at the irony.<p>

_**You know the reason, **_a voice in his head growled.

_I don't need your input right now, thank you very much,_ he thought.

_**Aw, I thought you liked it when I talked to you,**_ the voice jeered.

_Now is not the time,_ he shot back. Thankfully, the voice decided not to send back a snarky comment.

Tobi mentally sighed. He really did not want to deal with his other half right now. He rubbed his temples in frustration as he headed back to his apartment.

As soon as he arrived, he sighed out loud. His door had been graffitied. Again. This time the words "Demon-child" were sprawled across it in bright orange paint. He felt his anger flare up slightly before he took a deep breath, calmed down, and walked inside.

Thankfully they had not trashed the inside. He let out a breath of relief that he hadn't realized that he'd been holding in.

Not concerning himself with dinner, Tobi headed to his bedroom and flopped down on his futon, feeling utterly exhausted. He didn't even bother to change out of his sweaty clothes before he fell into a deep sleep.

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><p><em>"Mommy!" a three year-old Tobi cried, running with delight toward his mother.<em>

_Laughing, she picked him up and swung him around, her green eyes sparkling. "There's my Tobi! Who's a good boy?"_

_"Tobi is a good boy!" he proclaimed loudly, hugging her._

_The scene changed. Tobi was now standing with his face pressed up against a metal fence. His father was right next to him, screaming and crying. It was the first time that Tobi had ever seen him cry._

_"Mommy!" Tobi shouted in horror. "Stop hurting mommy!" he yelled to the shinobi surrounding her._

_His father Gyakutai yelled, "Tsuki! Goddammit...STOP HURTING MY WIFE, YOU BASTARDS!"_

_"People of Kagushi," a messenger said, blatantly ignoring the two weeping people in the front, "Fuyo Tsuki has been found guilty of participating in a plot against the Kuraikage, and is sentenced to death..."_

_"NOOOOO!" Tobi screamed his little lungs out in sorrow as he beat the fence with his fists. "NO NO NO NO NO!"_

_Tsuki gave a weak laugh as the shinobi around her beat her bloody and bruised. "I have no regrets! None at all. None at all..."_

_She looked Tobi in the eye. "Tobi...mommy loves you," she whispered as the shinobi to her left raised a katana above her head._

_"MOMMY!"_

* * *

><p>Tobi bolted upright, sweat and tears mixing together and pouring down his face. "Mommy..." He let out a small whimper. The nightmares had returned, and they were more vivid than ever.<p>

He took a minute to calm himself down. Deep breaths, in and out...in and out...in and out...slowly the shaking stopped. He hugged himself and went back to sleep.

* * *

><p>Zetsu had split himself again. The Shizen clan elders clapped politely and nodded in approval as his black and white halves separated themselves from each other.<p>

He sighed to himself in exasperation. It may look like it was done effortlessly, but he absolutely hated it.

* * *

><p><em>Zetsu was walking in the greenhouse, smelling the flowers as he went. A smile was on his normally emotionless face. He nodded in recognition when he saw the gardener passing him.<em>

_Suddenly he collapsed. He began to dry-heave, and his body felt like it was being torn in two. _What's going on?_ he thought frantically as the gardener freaked out and called for help._

**Need...to be...FREE!**_ someone answered in his mind._

No..._he pleaded._ Please don't, please don't, please don't...

_No sooner than his father and the clan elders arrived that he began to split in two. Every nerve felt like it was being stretched to breaking point. Waves of pain rolled through his body like a tsunami as tears poured down his face. His mouth was open in a silent scream as slowly but surely, his black and white halves separated themselves._

_His white half collapsed on the ground, utterly exhausted. He panted, drawing in desperate breaths through his half-mouth as the elders gaped and murmured._

_His black half, however, immediately stood up. He wobbled a bit, balanced only on one leg, but he managed to steady himself before speaking in a gravelly voice. "It's me."_

_Shizen Kusa, Zetsu's father and the clan head, took a hesitant step forward. "Kuro?" he whispered in shock._

_"Well what do you think I am, a chrysanthemum?" he snarled. "But yeah, it is me."_

_"Kuro! It is you!" Kusa exclaimed, rushing to hug him._

_Kuro hopped back. "Whoa whoa. No hugs. Look, I just need some time to stretch, be myself. But I need to merge with Shiro again soon, cuz I'm still a bit weak."_

_One of the newer elders looked at Kusa. "Who's Shiro? And who is this?"_

_Another elder elbowed him in the ribs. "Idiot! Weren't you debriefed on this?" She pointed at the black half and then at the white half of Zetsu. "That's Kuro and that's Shiro. Together they are Zetsu."_

_"But why-"_

_"I'll explain the rest to you later." She walked off, muttering something about newbies._

_Kusa ignored them and put a hand around Kuro's shoulder. "Come, my son. We have much to discuss."_

_"Yes, father." With Kusa's assistance, he hopped to the door, pausing to sneer down at Shiro. Shiro could only look up at him with wide eyes, unable to speak._

_Finally the time came for him to merge with Kuro, but there was one little problem._

_He didn't know how._

_But, Kuro didn't know either. So that consoled Shiro a little bit. But the half-body was proving difficult to manage, and he was still in a lot of pain. Of course, he didn't know if Kuro was experiencing the same pain that he was._

_Eventually he figured it out. All he had to do was touch his half with Kuro's and they would merge together again.*_

_Into Zetsu._

_Into his father's weapon._

* * *

><p>Yinasni tossed and turned on her futon, trying to fall asleep. Her attempts to find a comfortable position in which to sleep failed miserably. She eventually settled for lying on her back, staring at the ceiling.<p>

Yinasni found that this was a bad idea as well. She had taped a picture of Tobi and herself on the ceiling above her bed, for reasons that escaped her at the moment. Tobi had some food stuck in his teeth-his mask had been off for the day as the result of a dare-and Yinasni looked like she was in the middle of a sneeze.

* * *

><p><em>"Say cheese!"<em>

_"Why 'cheese'? Why not 'bees' or something like that?"_

_"Tobi! Shut up and smile!" Jab._

_"Ow! That hurt, Yin!"_

_"Smile. NOW!"_

_"Oh uh...cheese!"_

_"Wahchoo!"_

_"Yin, you sneezed!"_

_"No duh." Sniff._

_"Here's your photo. Have a nice day!"_

_"Look at this! You have food in your teeth! Gross!"_

_"Yah? Well you're sneezing!"_

_"Touché, Tobi. Touché."_

* * *

><p>She smiled. Good times, good times. <em>Geez, I'm sounding like I'm old,<em> she thought disgustedly.

She then pondered Tobi's odd behavior at the end of their training session. What exactly had he seen? Ok, she admitted that the genjutsu that she'd used on him wasn't perfect, but it shouldn't have shaken him so badly. _I knew that I should've perfected it before using it!_ she thought angrily, mentally berating herself.

She turned to her left to stop thinking about Tobi. And found that that was also a bad idea.

On the table standing to the left of her bed was a picture of her mother. She had been caught in the middle of cooking, her blonde hair up in a messy bun. She was laughing, her blue eyes sparkling in delight. Yinasni's mother had seldom smiled, but when she did, Yinasni swore that the sun shone a little brighter and everyone was happier. Even her father.

Then...there was that night.

* * *

><p><em>Yinasni couldn't remember much. She was only six at the time, and was too young to understand anything about politics and violence. So when shouts of "Leaf shinobi!" rang throughout her house, she was at a complete and utter loss as to what to do.<em>

_So she did what made sense to her six year-old mind. She went to go find her mommy._

_"Mommy!" she called, racing through the many hallways to her parents' bedroom. _Mommy will protect me,_ she thought as she stopped in front of the room. _She's Mommy.

_She opened the door and gasped at what she saw._

_The room was in a complete state of chaos. Fire was licking at the walls, devouring them eagerly like a hungry beast. Clothes were scattered around in the floor. Shouts were coming from outside._

_And there was a body on the bed._

_Yinasni felt her body freeze up. Her body seemed to move of its own accord as she slowly walked forward and peered over the edge.** Her breath caught in her throat as she recognized the familiar blonde hair, the pale skin, and the open, glassy blue eyes._

_Mommy was dead._

No no no..._she thought, shaking her mother. Even her skin was cold. "Wake up, mommy, please wake up. Please wake up mommy." Her voice was now in hysterics. "Mommy! You need to wake up! It's scary! Mommy! Wake up now! Mommy! Mommy!"_

Yinasni reached up and touched her face. Something wet had landed on them. Were they...tears? She tasted it; yup, the saltiness betrayed them. It had been a while since she had really and truly cried over her mother.

But as she lay on her bed, silent sobs racked her body until she fell asleep.

* * *

><p><strong>*I really don't know how Zetsu merges back together. Has Kishimoto told us that yet? I don't know.<strong>

****The bed is raised and she is short. 'Nuff said.**

**Thank you to ****Tigerfighter98**** and rainclawwarriorcat**** who both reviewed! Thanks so much!**

**Review please!**

**Sasuke. Lacks. Hatred.**

**Later. :D**


	5. Chapter 5

**Sorry if I disappoint you guys with this chapter...I think it sucks. :P**

**I do not own Naruto.**

**Edited: May 19, 2012**

* * *

><p>Yinasni yawned. She sat up in bed and stretched, her hair a mess. She rubbed her eyes and glanced at the clock hanging on her wall.<p>

She froze. _Crap,_ she thought. It was 10. And she was supposed to meet Taidana and the others at 10.

"Crap!" she shrieked, jumping out of bed. The world was a blur to her as she quickly got dressed, brushed her hair, raced downstairs, managed to grab a bagel, and rushed out the door past her father, who was returning from a Council meeting. "Sorrydadigottagobye!"

_Training Area 82..._she thought. _82, 82, 82...WHERE THE HECK IS IT?_

"Oomph!" She ran straight into a civilian and landed on her butt. "Sorry ma'am!" she said, jumping back up. She reached a hand out to the old woman on the ground.

The woman graciously accepted it. "Thankth," she replied with a lisp. She gave a small smile of gratitude.

"You're welcome. Now I'm sorry, but I really must go! Gomenesai!" Yinasni said, bowing and then racing off.

**~At Training Area 82~**

"Where the heck are they?" Tobi asked the air. He was extremely frustrated, and was hopping around the area in an attempt to let out his pent-up energy.

"Stop running around. You'll exhaust yourself before the test," Zetsu said exasperatedly. "**And that would mean one less person to pass.**" His black half grinned maliciously. "But that also means that we wouldn't pass. **WHAT? Where did you hear that?** Last night, after we spli—mmph! **Don't spill anything, you baka!**"

Thankfully (for Zetsu), Tobi hadn't heard a word of his (or their?) exchange. "Huh? Zetsu-san, did you say something?"

"Nothing that concerns you. **Now shut up and let me concentrate.**"

"Ok!"

A moment of silence ensued, and then, just as Zetsu was about to begin reviewing a certain technique in his mind when...

"Oh! Oh! There's Yinasni!" Tobi shrieked excitedly, jumping and pointing.

Zetsu fell over anime style.

Tobi took no notice of Zetsu and raced towards Yinasni, tackling her with a hug. Somehow she kept her balance. "YOU'RE LATE!" he screamed happily into her ear.

"Gomen," she apologized. "I woke up late and ran into a civilian on the way here...wait a minute! That's her!"

She pointed at an old woman tottering towards them. "What's she doing here?"

Tobi and Zetsu both shrugged. "I don't know," said Zetsu. "**I don't know either. Did you think that I knew? You're even more of a dumbass that I thought.**"

"Hello children!" the old lady called. Her frumpy blue dress swayed from side to side as she hobbled towards them, her wooden cane acting as a support. Graying hair fell over brown eyes peering out of a wrinkly face.

"What are you doing here?" Zetsu asked rudely. "This area is for ninjas only."

"You don't realize who I am?" she laughed. "Thilly children." She performed a hand sign and a puff of smoke surrounded her. When it cleared, it revealed none other than Taidana!

"Whoa!" Tobi exclaimed, pointing at her for no apparent reason. "How did you—"

"I was one of the best hengers back in Konoha." Her face darkened a bit as she said the village's name. "Anyways, this is your test. You must—"

"—Learn how to henge?" the masked boy asked hopefully.

Taidana gave him a look. "Didn't you learn how to henge in the Academy?"

He looked at the ground in embarrassment. "Well...erm...I'm kinda...sorta...really suckish at it."

She waved her hand in dismissal. "Whatever. Anyways, no, the test is not to henge. In order to pass and become genin under me, you must escort me to the edge of Konohagakure and back."

"Isn't that a bit dangerous? And a bit much?" Yinasni asked. As much as she hated Konoha and wanted to burn it to the ground in order to stand on its ashes and cackle maniacally, she just wasn't ready.

Taidana shrugged. "You tell me. I don't underestimate people, especially kids. In...that place, during my Chunnin Exam, there was a kid who could do two A-level jutsu! Remember, he was only a genin. You guys are below genin. But, in this team, I've got the Shizen prodigy—" She gestured to Zetsu. "—the heiress, who is a genjutsu whiz—" She pointed at Yinasni. "—and Tobi. Sorry, Tobi, I don't know that much about you." Her eyes flicked to the side when she said the last sentence. "That's the way you guys were teamed up. The Rookie of the Year, the top kunoichi, and the dobe. But I think that you guys are plenty capable."

"Ok..." Yinasni said, still a bit unsure.

"Lighten up, Yin!" Tobi said lightheartedly. "It'll be fun!"

"So, are we leaving now?" Zetsu asked impatiently. "**Or are you giving us time to pack?**"

"Oh right. Packing. Uh...sure!" Taidana chuckled nervously. "Go home and pack up enough stuff for a few days on the road. About a week or so."

"A week?" Yinasni exclaimed.

"Yes, a week. This test ain't a walk in the park. I'm testing you. And I ain't an easy examiner."

The three Academy students gulped nervously. Well, in Zetsu's case, his white half gulped while his black half chuckled darkly.

"Also..." Taidana henged back into the old woman. "For the test I am Risupu and not Taidana. You will refer to me as Risupu-baachan. I'm just an old civilian who needs protection. But if you need assistance, I can give it to you. I'll meet you at the front gate in half an hour. See ya!" And with that, she poofed away.

**~Fifteen minutes later~**

Yinasni walked leisurely through the village. She had a good fifteen minutes left, and she wanted to pick up some dango to go. Her mouth watered as she thought of dango. God, she loved the stuff.

When she got to her favorite dango stand, she gritted her teeth once she saw who was there. She stepped past him as she entered, praying that she'd go unnoticed, but that was not to be.

"Heeeey! Lookee here who it is! The princess!" Hansamuna Tori catcalled. "Lookin' fine if I do say so myself."

"Shove off, Tori," Yinasni muttered under her breath.

Tori had been the most popular boy as well as the jokester at the academy, and nearly every girl had fallen for him sometime during their four years. He had been third-best in everything, topped only by Zetsu and Yinasni herself. He had this uber-annoying habit of running his hand through his spiky dark-green hair, and his brown eyes always sparkled with some hidden joke. He always wore this molted green jacket, brown shinobi pants, and black shinobi shoes. He vaguely reminded Yinasni of a tree.

And for whatever reason, he decided that Yinasni would be his girlfriend.

"What's that, princess?" he asked mockingly, draping an arm around her. "Did you just confess your undying love for me, and that we'd be together forever?"

"Not for a million years," she snapped, grabbing his arm and twisting it behind his back.

"Ow." His face scrunched up in pain. "Love you too, sweetie."

She just sighed as a response and let his go before his arm broke.

He rubbed his arm, that same stupid, cocky grin still plastered on his face. "So…have you passed your test yet?"

"Not yet," she replied, surprising herself. _Why the hell am I telling him this?_ she thought. "We're leaving today for our weeklong test." _Shut up, shut up, shut up!_

"You're gonna leave for your test? And it's a week long?" Tori asked quizzically. "Ha! I feel bad for you. All my team had to do was do some D-rank mission. Ningen-sensei is really paranoid, and he didn't want us to get hurt on some stupid, dangerous test, so I got my hitai-ate yesterday!"

"Seriously?" Yinasni was incredulous. _Kami…Taidana is pushing us too much! Then again, it could just be Ningen-sensei…_

"Yeah, look!" He pulled down his jacket to show the Shadow hitai-ate around his neck. Yinasni couldn't help but feel a twinge of jealousy. He already had his!

"Bye!" She suddenly said, pushing him out of the dango shop. She needed him gone.

Then she turned back to the amused stand owner. "Ten dango to go, please."

When she reached the gate, she saw that Zetsu and Taidana were already there. Tobi was coming; Yinasni could tell by the yells of "GET OUT OF THE WAY! I'M NEARLY LATE!"

Tobi screeched to a halt directly in front of her, nearly knocking her over. "Hi, Yin!"

"Hi, Tobi," she responded, her thoughts elsewhere.

"Are you okay, child?" Taidana/Risupu asked.

"Yeah, yeah," Yinasni replied, giving a wave of dismissal with her hand. Risupu raised an eyebrow but didn't say anything.

"**Let's go already!**" Zetsu said. "I'm getting impatient."

"Very well," Taidana/Risupu said, and they took their first step outside of the village.

* * *

><p><strong>I just broke up with my first boyfriend. I'm really upset and angry at him, cuz I caught him cheating on me. (Note to him: the next time that you decide to cheat on your girlfriend, don't post about it on Facebook in a private group that BOTH GIRLS ARE PART OF. Asshole.) Because I'm currently an emotional wreck downing ice cream and bawling during Titanic, please be kind in your reviews.<strong>

**Risupu means "lisp" in Japanese. Yay puns!**

**Maybe I'm bipolar…**

**Thank you to ****DeidaraIsMine23****, TNTkitten, and MadGirl03 ****for reviewing! You guys are awesome!**

**Review please!**

**Sasuke. Lacks. Hatred.**

**Later. :D**


	6. Chapter 6

**Well I'm over my breakup now. Asshole's dating another girl already...grumble grumble.**

**I don't own Naruto. I own my OCs, though. MINE!**

**The italicized part is a flashback.**

**On to the story!**

**Edited: May 19, 2012**

* * *

><p>To put it simply, Kagushi is a good distance away from Konoha. By walking, it's about two and a half days to the gate. That's not including sleeping, training, and brief battles ninja may encounter.<p>

"Are we there yet?" The whine broke the peaceful air that had lasted for about a minute.

"No."

Two minutes later..."Are we there yet?"

"No."

Three minutes later..."Are we there yet?"

"No."

Four minutes later..."Are we—"

"I swear, Tobi, if you ask that one more time, **I will eat you.**"

Tobi gulped nervously. There was a five minute interlude. "Are we—"

"That's it," Zetsu snarled. "**He's fertilizer.**"

A small scuffle ensued. "No! Zetsu!" Yinasni exclaimed. "You can't eat him! Tobi is your teammate!"

"**Outta my way, Yinasni-hime!**"

"Gah! Run awaaaaay!" Tobi hid behind Yinasni.

"Tobi get back here! Zetsu stop biting me! Risupu-baachan, a little help?"

Taidana/Risupu chuckled. "Fuck no, this is too fucking amusing. I think you can handle this one on your own."

Yinasni gave her a look. "Why are you swearing so much?"

"Cuz I like to, bitch."

"But you didn't swear so much while we were in the Gakko–"

"Your dad's got rules on swearing inside the village, alright?"

"Save me, Yin!"

"**I swear, Tobi, the next time you ask a dumb question, you are dead meat.**"

"But isn't meat already dead...?"

Yinasni facepalmed. "Tobi..."

"**YOU ARE** **DEAD!**"

"But I'm alive!"

Thankfully, Taidana was able to stop Zetsu's cannibalistic urge and convinced him that eating his teammate was a very bad thing.

They kept walking for a bit, and it eventually turned dark. "We'll camp over there for the night," Taidana said, pointing to a spot inside a cluster of trees.

"Ok..." Tobi sleepily replied, yawning. He had never been outside of the village, and almost all of his energy was gone.

"C'mon, Tobi," Yinasni said in a gentle voice. "Over here."

Soon all of them were set up. Tobi and Yinasni were sleeping next to each other, curled up in their own seperate sleeping bags. Zetsu had disappeared somewhere, but Taidana could feel his dormant chakra close to where they were, so she wasn't too worried.

She lay under a tree, watching the near-genin with a sense of pride and admiration. She remembered a night like this one during her first out-of-village mission as a genin...

* * *

><p><em>"Heiwa-sensei!" Taidana whined. "I can't go to sleep!"<em>

_"Just shut up and sleep," Heiwa replied. The other two genin were already in their sleeping bags. Chusei was snoring lightly, while Kenji was tossing and turning._

_"But I caaaan't!" she protested._

_Sighing, Heiwa got up and walked over to her. "Look, kid, you're a ninja, right?"_

_"No duh."_

_"Then go. To. Sleep." With that, he walked back to his sleeping bag and promptly fell asleep, snoring loudly._

_Taidana lay back down and sighed. She was filled to the brim with energy, and just couldn't settle down._

_She turned onto her side and was surprised to see that Kenji was looking at her, a small grin on his face. "He's an old fart face," he whispered, making Taidana giggle._

_"He really is," she said just as quietly. "What's up with those brown spots on his face?"_

_"I don't know," the boy replied, eyes sparkling with laughter. "He looks kinda funny with them."_

_"Who does?" Chusei asked. He had evidently awoken, and was now sitting up. His lavender pupil-less eyes glared at them for disrupting his sleep._

_"Heiwa-sensei," Taidana whispered back. "Don't you think he looks kinda funny?"_

_"Heiwa-sensei is a legend among genjutsu master," Chusei said stiffly. "Just because you two think that he 'looks funny' doesn't mean that you have to voice it. Please show some respect. Now, I don't know about you two, but I'm going back to sleep." He promptly did so._

_Taidana glanced at Kenji and whispered, "Stuck-up teacher's pet." He chuckled. _

* * *

><p>Finally, after a night of haunting memories (or at least for Taidana), the sunlight hit their eyes and woke Zetsu. Yawning, he stretched and woke the others.<p>

"Huh? Wha...?" Tobi blinked sleepily when Zetsu shook him.

"**Up. Now.**"

"Right away!" Apparently Tobi hadn't forgotten that Zetsu was more than willing to eat him.

* * *

><p>"Wow!" Tobi's eyes grew larger and larger as they neared Konoha. Yinasni was at the point of worriment that she was fully ready to push Tobi's eyeballs back into his skull should the need arise. "That's Konoha? It's huge!"<p>

"We live in one of the smaller hidden villages," Zetsu said, "**so why the hell do you think that Konoha would be the same size?**"

"I don't know!" the masked boy exclaimed. "Can we explore for a bit? Please Risupu-baachan? Please oh please oh please oh please oh pl—"

"FINE!" Taidana/Risupu thundered. She calmed down and rubbed her temples. "I'm getting a fuckin' migraine just by listening to you fuckin' kids bitch and screech." It was an odd sight to see an old woman swear so much in one sentence. "Kami..."

"So...you don't like us?"

"Truthfully? As of now, not really."

"Awww..."

"Just shut the fuck up and go explore. Just make sure no one recognizes Yinasni, cuz currently...we aren't exactly on good terms with Konoha. You guys don't have Kagushi hitai-ate yet, thankfully, so don't screw up the test and have Konoha ANBU after us."

"Why would ANBU—"

"Enough fuckin' questions, off we go!" She hurried to the gates with the kids in tow.

"Welcome to Konoha, ma'am," one of the guards posted at the gate said warmly. He was smiling, oozing sunshine and happiness and butterflies and rainbows. "What is your business here?"

Taidana nearly threw up. One of the many reasons why she hated Konoha was their overly perky attitude in front of guests. _Just show them the fuckin' truth..._

* * *

><p><em>"Just smile and wave," Kenji said, elbowing her. "The diplomat will be gone by the end of the day."<em>

_Taidana grimaced. "But what if he sees that we can barely handle the village right now? That last attack killed so many shinobi! He'll think that we can't take care of ourselves."_

_Kenji merely leaned over and kissed her cheek. "It'll be ok. Just one day and the façade will be over."_

_Taidana blushed. "Okay." _

* * *

><p>Instead, she gushed in her "old woman" voice, "I'm jutht here on vacation with my grandthon and hith friendth. They've alwayth wanted to vithit one of the hidden villageth. They thomehow convinced their parentth to buy them shuriken and shuriken holthterth. They love all thingth ninja. " Beaming, she then leaned in and whispered to him, "Pleathe don't thay anything about Shojo's condition, he hateth people who make fun of his thkin color."<p>

The ninja nodded. "I understand. Well, have fun in Konoha!"

_Dumbass,_ Taidana thought. "Thank you!" she said out loud.

Once they were inside and a safe distance away from the guards, Taidana whispered, "Since we're here, I'm gonna take a walk around, check up on some stuff (fuck some shit up).* You kids can check out the sights or something. Meet me back at the gate in three hours. Get discovered and we're fucking screwed. So don't." With that, she walked away.

"There's something I wanna check out too," Zetsu said. "**Later, losers.**" He disappeared in a hurry.

Tobi looked at Yinasni. "Well, I guess it's just us then."

"Yup," she replied, not even looking at him. She was gritting her teeth in anger, and her eyes were burning like coals.

It's understandable, Tobi mused to himself. After what's happened to Yin's mother, I don't blame her. He cringed inwardly. Guess I should hate Konoha too.

"C'mon, Yin, let's go check out some of the sights," she said, tugging her wrist slightly. Glaring at him, she reluctantly complied and followed him.

And throughout all of this, a pair of eyes watched their every move.

* * *

><p><strong>*The parentheses means that she's speaking under her breath. <strong>

**I know it's short. Live with it. And remember, Taidana has a lisp, so the s's are pronounced as "th". So if you get confused by what she's saying, PM me.**

**Criticism is accepted and appreciated. Long reviews with constructive criticism are a plus. **

**The next three chapters will be Team 3's adventures in Konoha!**

**Thanks to TNTkitten for reviewing…and for being my only reviewer for the last chapter…**

**Sasuke. Lacks. Hatred.**

**Later. :D**


	7. Chapter 7

**I don't own Naruto.**

**...Well dammit.**

**Edited: May 20, 2012**

* * *

>Taidana wandered through the streets, still under her guise as an old woman. She had a specific destination in mind as she meandered her way around ninjas and civilians alike.<p><p>

Her breath hitched ever so slightly as she caught sight of an ANBU in a tree. Attempting to calm herself, she continued walking, head bowed. She passed the ANBU without any difficulty, but she could feel his eyes on her retreating figure. _Well of course,_ she thought. _That's how I was trained...be suspicious of everything and everyone._

* * *

><em>"Deer! We've got a Level 5 threat!" Taidana's ANBU captain, Snake, yelled.<em>

_"Fuck," she muttered as she pulled herself off of the ground._

_Joining up with Kenji and Snake, they flitted through the trees, Kenji and her following Snake._

_Soon they arrived at a clearing. Nothing seemed out of place. "Be prepared," Kenji cautioned underneath his bear mask._

_Then all hell broke loose._

* * *

>Taidana shook her head. After a night of sorting through her memories, she decided that she most definitely did not need to relive that one. <em>But thank Kami I henged my chakra signature as well,<em> she thought. _Otherwise all of the ANBU squads would be after me._

Finally, she reached the Nara clan compound. She stepped inside and dropped her disguise. Immediately she was held by multiple Shadow Possessions as Naras surrounded her.

"Taidana," someone growled.

She sighed in response. "Wow. Amazing. No fucking duh it's me."

"What do you want?" another demanded.

She just grinned. "What, can't I take a moment to visit my own clan? (Wow, this village is even more fucked up than I thought.)"

"Hell no." A woman stepped out of the shadows, her hands still in the hand sign that would keep the jutsu going. "You have no right to be here."

Taidana studied her, trying to remember who she was. The woman looks to be around her age, albeit slightly younger, with shoulder-length hair and dark brown eyes. She wore a deerskin trench coat over a molted green shirt and brown pants. Her hitai-ate was tied around her head.

Smiling, Taidana finally recognized her. "Why hello, ane-chan," she said. "Fancy seeing you here."

"Shut up," the kunoichi snapped. "You have no right calling me that, considering what you did."

"Goddammit...how many times do I have to tell you...I didn't do it!" Taidana yelled. "I was framed by that fucking bastard!"

"Don't you dare talk about him that way," her sister growled.

Taidana sighed. "Michi...he's played with you. He's toyed with your emotions. There's always been something wrong with him, and you're just too blind to see it! He is a bastard who's just using you!"

"Shut UP!" Michi flew into a rage and focused on her jutsu. Immediately shadowy hands began to climb up Taidana's body and reached for her neck.

She gave a weak smile as the hands started constricting. "I see...you've mastered...the Shadow Strangle Technique...well done...ane-chan." She smirked. "But you still aren't as good as me." She disappeared in a cloud of smoke as the hands closed around her throat.

Michi swore. "Dammit...Shadow Clone."

"Right you are." She spun around just in time for Taidana to deliver a round kick to her stomach. With an "oof", the elder Nara flew into a nearby tree.

Others rose to assist her, but she stopped them. "No!" she spat out, and fiercely glared at Taidana. "This is my fight." Quickly leaping up, Michi raced at her sister with a battle cry, a kunai in her hand.

Silently, Taidana pulled out her own kunai. Metal clashed off of metal as she blocked anger-driven Michi's attack. "Good...you're angry. Focus that anger instead of swinging your kunai all over the place. Make your strikes direct, have a plan! Dammit, ane-chan, has what I taught you been for naught?"

"Shut up!" she yelled. However, her strikes began to come it at all angles, effectively forcing Taidana to be unable to use her hands to make hand signs.

_Dammit...me and my big mouth,_ Taidana thought. _But it's time to end this._

She took a huge leap backwards so that she landed on the roof of the entrance. She quickly performed a series of hand signs and slammed her hand down on the ground. "Shadow Vine Technique," she shouted. Tiny wisps of black scurried out from underneath her hand and hurried towards Michi, who was racing towards Taidana with a crazed look in her eyes.

As soon as Michi was about twenty feet away from her sister, large coils of shadow rose out of the ground-in broad daylight-and grabbed her, successfully holding her in place.

Her breathing immediately became labored. She started to slump over, but straightened herself. "Wha...what are you doing to me?"

"This is my special technique that I've created," Taidana answered. "It will sap your chakra and be held in these vines until needed. Sorry, ane-san," she said. "Looks like I'm still on top." With that, she leapt into the trees.

"Should we go after her?" a Nara asked from the sidelines.

"No," Michi answered. "She has stolen everything from me...it is only right that I do the same to her." The shadows soon released her and she stood. "Ah...that's better. We will not pursue her but we will wait until the time is right."

"Yes Michi-sama."

Taidana watched from a nearby tree, regret in her eyes. _Sorry, ane-san,_ she thought. _I couldn't save you from him. _With that thought, she leaped away.

_He wasn't in the compound,_ she thought as she leapt from branch to branch. _If he was, he would've come out with that commotion. He must be either on or returning from a mission. _Closing her eyes, she searched for his chakra.

They flew open. _Gotcha._

Soon she arrived at the forest surrounding the village. Landing on a branch, she looked down on her son's team. They had just been made genin (if her calculations were correct) and were probably on their first or second D-rank missions. She grinned as she heard the yowling of a certain cat.

"Gotcha!" a rather...erm, rotund boy with red hair and purple markings on his cheeks shouted as he pounced at Kora. The cat, in turn, screeched and scratched him, then turned tail and ran. "Ow!" the boy said. "Stupid cat..."

"Calm down, Choza," a blonde boy said. He had long hair in a ponytail. Taidana personally thought that it made him look slightly gay, but...eh, to each their own. "We'll get Kora eventually. Shikaku, got a plan?"

A brown-haired boy with a pineapple-esque ponytail sighed. "Of course I do, Inoichi. This whole deal is so troublesome..."

"Troublesome or not, we've got a mission," Choza said, still nursing his (extremely small) wound.

Suddenly Shikaku froze. "Guys...she's coming."

"Crap! Stay focused Shikaku..." Inoichi cautioned.

_So they can sense her and not me? _Taidana thought. _Damn genin…you should at least know that! Who the fuck has been teaching you? I am going to beat the shit outta him!_

A girl of medium height stumbled out from behind a tree. Her curly black hair had multiple leaves and small branches stuck in it, and her red lips were positioned in a small frown. Amber orbs darted around, as if she was afraid of something.

"Hi Eruza," Shikaku said in a bored voice.

"Eep!" she jumped at the sound of his voice. She quickly pulled out a kunai and pointed it at him, then sighed and put it away when she saw that it was only Shikaku. "H-hi Shikaku."

"You okay?" he asked. "You seem really out of it..."

"I-i-it's nothing, I'll b-be fine," she stuttered out in a small voice. "I th-th-thought that you w-were som-meone else. I r-r-really must be going n-now. B-bye Shikaku, Choza, Inoichi." With that, she hurried away in the direction of the village, Shikaku gazing after her.

Choza chuckled. "You've got it bad, Nara."

"Yeah yeah," he said, his stare still on her retreating form.

Kora padded up to him and sat down. Confused, Shikaku looked around and saw Inoichi's body slumped against a tree. The cat gave him a meaningful stare.

"Hehe...sorry Inoichi," he said and quickly grabbed the cat, holding it in a position that ensured that it wouldn't scratch him.

Inoichi soon stirred and sent a glare Shikaku's way. "There's a certain thing called a mission, Nara. It's what ninjas do to earn money-"

"Sorry!" he snapped.

"Yeesh, lay off of him," Choza said. "I personally don't blame him...you're head over heels for that Tsume chick. As to why, though, I don't know..."*

Inoichi blushed. "Shut up."

Choza chuckled.

Shikaku stiffened. "Guys...we're not the only ones here."

Taidana smiled. _Finally. Fuck, they're slow. I haven't even been masking my chakra. Wait maybe I was…well, shit._

Shikaku made a little hand motion towards the tree Taidana was standing on. Choza gave a small, nearly imperceptible nod and curled his hand into a fist. It grew—a jutsu Taidana recognized as the Akimichi's Partial Multi-Size Technique—and slammed into the trunk of the tree.

Before the tremors could reach her or the trunk could splinter in half, Taidana leapt off and landed on an adjoining tree.

"Who are you?" Shikaku demanded.

Taidana smirked and merely said, "I am a kunoichi."

Inoichi rolled his eyes. "No duh, lady."

"Hey!" Taidana pointed at him. "Respect your elders, you girly fucker."

"Where do you come from? What do you want?" Shikaku continued while Inoichi backed away, horrified that someone had dared to insult him and his magnificent hair.

Choza facepalmed. "Are you serious, Nara? She's wearing a Konoha hitai-ate, for Kami's sake. Aren't you supposed to be the genius…?"

Taidana sweatdropped. _Great…he's inherited Kenji's ability to be completely oblivious to the most obvious things. _Wanting to test the younger Nara's abilities, she sent a barrage of kunai flying his way.

"Gah! What the heck, are you a traitor or something? Troublesome…" Shikaku hurriedly pulled out a kunai of his own and deflected all of them.

Unfazed, she performed a series of hand signs and sent out a series of small fireballs. "Fire Release: Phoenix Sage Fire Technique!"

Shikaku, in turn, performed a series of hand signs. "Earth Release: Earth-Style Wall!" Immediately a wall of rock grew, successfully blocking the barrage of fireballs. "Why are you doing this?" he shouted.

_A B-rank jutsu…nice,_ Taidana thought. _So he's not a complete idiot…_

"I'm starting to think that what Shikaku's saying could be used as extremely corny lines sometime in the future…" Choza said thoughtfully.

Inoichi hit him lightly on the back of the head. "Don't be ridiculous, Choza. No one would be stupid enough to include something like that."

"Ya never know…"

"Guys!" Shikaku shouted. "Pay attention!"

Suddenly Taidana heard a whistling sound behind her. _Whistling = taijutsu. Taijutsu = punch/kick. Punch/kick = physical fighting. FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK—_

She leapt out of the way and onto a tree to the right of her. The branch where she was previously standing splintered in half and fell to the ground.

She whirled around just in time for a leg to catch her in the face. _Ow ow ow …that's gonna leave a mark._

"And who the fuck are you?" Taidana asked, holding a hand to her now-throbbing cheek.

The shinobi that had kicked her sneered and said, "Name's Hyuga Chusei. Nice to see you again, Taidana."

Taidana's eyes widened. _Chusei…_

* * *

><p>"<em>Name's Hyuga Chusei. So you're the kunoichi in my team? …Pah, you look weak."<em>

"_Nice to see that you can actually do something."_

"_Dammit, T, don't die on me now!"_

"_Taidana…I love you."_

"_This is what you've been doing? This is why you turned me down?"_

"_I HATE YOU!"_

"_Leave. Leave the village. If you return I will personally hunt you down and kill you."_

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><p>"No…" she backed away in horror. "<em>You're<em> Shikaku's sensei?"

"That's right." His lavender eyes narrowed in contempt. "I made a promise to you that I fully intend to keep. I hope you're ready, Taidana, cuz here I come."

"Sensei!" He looked down to see Choza calling up to him. "What should we do?"

"You have Kora," he replied. "Head back to the village and return her to the daimyo's wife. I'll deal with the kunoichi."

"Who is she?" Shikaku asked.

Chusei looked him in the eye. "I'm not gonna lie to you, kid. This…is your mother."

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><p><strong>Aaaaand…I'm gonna end the chapter there. It's longer than the last chapter! I'm so proud of myself.<strong>

**Hehe Twilight bashing is fun...**

**Thank you to bookworm4lifebaby for reviewing! You were my only reviewer…so people! Review! Please! **

**Sasuke. Lacks. Hatred.**

**Later. :D**


	8. Chapter 8

**Sorry for the poor quality of this chapter. I was reading Death Note and had next-to-no drive to write. So now my mind is all "Wait…does that mean that Rem is lesbo?" and "L IS DEAD! Nooooooooooooooooooooooo..."**

**Me no own Naruto. Me talk well blah blah.**

**Edited: May 20, 2012**

* * *

><p>"Later, losers," Zetsu said to Tobi and Yinasni, and hurried away.<p>

He immediately headed to a training ground where huge trees grew in every way, shape and form. He stared in awe up at them; was this what trees could be like? The "huge" trees in Kagushi were dwarves compared to these! _I said that the plants needed more sunlight,_ Zetsu thought angrily. _But noo, they had to ignore me!_

_**Oh shut up,**_ his black half thought. _**You're giving me a headache.**_

_How do I give you a headache?_ his white half demanded. _I am half of you._

_**Kinda...**_

_Don't need a reminder._

_Wait a minute..._Zetsu sniffed deeply and grinned. _There are flowers somewhere around here! Wildflowers!_

He quickly leaped away in the direction of the smell, a happy smile upon his face_. I haven't felt this free for a while...it feels nice._

He soon landed in front of a honeysuckle bush and his face lit up even more. "Honeysuckle!" he exclaimed happily, carefully examining the flowers and marveling over their perfection. He scrutinized the little flowers, studying the odd but intricate design on the petals.

Suddenly he heard a rustle from behind him. _**Damn your obsession with flowers!**_ he thought as he quickly jumped into a tree. _But they're so pretty..._

A girl with curly black hair jumped out from a bush, the sound of shinobi chasing her rising from behind. Her eyes widened as she looked around, seeming to be hoping for a hiding place. She paused under his tree, eyes darting here and there.

Zetsu, however, couldn't see her face. Both halves of himself being extremely curious, he leaned forward from his branch and fell...

...landing on top of her.

"**Shit!**" he exclaimed.

"Gah!" she cried. They fell together in a tangled heap of limbs and aching body parts.

"Ow…" he rubbed his head and glanced down at the girl he was sitting on. Her lips were settled into a pained frown. "Are you okay?"

"I'd be better if you got off of me," she replied. He hastily jumped up and offered a hand. "I don't need your help," she snapped, getting up and dusting her blue-gray robe off.

"Are you okay?" he repeated.

"What the hell do you think?" she retorted. "I had to get away, but some random tattooed freak had to fall on my head. I probably have a bruise, a concussion, and my back hurts! No, I'm not freaking okay!"

"Calm down, I—"

"There she is!" They whipped their heads around to see a black haired boy with dark glasses pointing at the girl. "Come back here!"

"**What the hell…?**"

She turned to Zetsu. "Gah! You are such a baka! C'mon!" Grabbing his hand, she fled.

"Follow them!" the boy behind them ordered, and led the rest of his team in pursuit.

Eventually they came to rest at a cluster of trees just outside of the village.

Panting heavily, Zetsu turned to the girl. "What…the hell…was that?"

She ignored him and twisted, prompting her back to crack multiple times. Her face relaxed. "Ah…that's better."

"**Well?**" he asked.

"Eep!" Her personality completely flipped as she realized that he was still there. "Gomen! I'm sorry for dragging you into this! I didn't mean to! Please don't tell my father!" She bowed multiple times.

"Whoa whoa whoa!" He waved his hands in an attempt to calm her. "It's okay. **Just tell us what the fuck is going on.** Hey! You do NOT swear at a girl! **I can do whatever the fuck I want! **Shut it! **No you shut it!**" His black side punched his white side, leaving a sizeable bruise on his cheek. "Ow! What the hell was that for? **You annoy me. **I could say the same to you. **Hey, where are you going?**" The last question was directed at the girl, whose face had scrunched up in terror at this self-argument._ Apparently she hadn't witnessed schizophrenia before_, he thought. _**Shut the fuck up, you're stupid.**_

"What…the heck…are you?" she asked. "Are you sent by my father? Please don't take me back to him!"

"Calm down!" he ordered, approaching her. "I'm not here to hurt you. I'm just a little…**stupid** lost. LOST! I'm lost, not stupid. **I think you're plenty stupid. **Sorry for him…he doesn't know when to keep his mouth shut."

She sent him a wary look, but said, "Alright. I'll help you."

He smiled, and instantly regretted it when she drew back at the sight of his sharp teeth. "Thanks." He stuck out a gloved hand. "The name's Zetsu."

She cautiously took it and shook. "Eruza."

"So…" He patted the grassy ground. "Wanna talk?"

"Sure." She lay down, her curly raven locks splaying out around her. She laid one hand on her chest but kept the other next to her weapons pouch. _A wise move,_ Zetsu thought approvingly.

"So why don't you want to be with your dad?" he asked, lying next to her.

She sighed. "I really shouldn't be telling you this…" she began, "but my gut is telling me that you're trustworthy, and your chakra, while…unusual, isn't creating any sort of genjutsu, so I'll tell you."

"Are you a sensor type?" he quickly asked before she could continue. _This could be very bad is she is…__**very bad…**_

"Kind of yes and kind of no," she replied. "I'll explain it.

"My full name is Mekishiko Eruza. My clan is kinda different, cuz we have a Kekkei Genkai called the Oshokune." She opened them and gave Zetsu a quick glance. "With these eyes, we can tell someone's chakra flow just by looking at them. We can also tell where they are. It's kinda like a combination of the Hyuga clan's Byakugan, which can see across long distances and someone's chakra flow, and the Uchiha clan's Sharingan, which can physically see chakra when it's in the form of a jutsu. However…" Her voice trailed off. "I really shouldn't be telling you this."

"I won't tell anyone, I promise," Zetsu said, eager to hear more. _**What luck! If she can tell me the secrets of her eyes, then I can tell Father, and he will finally accept me for who I am. Tell me more, Eruza…**__Quit it! She's the one person who's actually telling me anything personal. __**That's because she doesn't know your true mission…kukuku…**_

She paused, then continued. "The few who activate the Oshokune will die early deaths."

_Wait…what?_ **_...The_**_** fuck? **_"What?"

"The Oshokune, while powerful, inflicts a terrible disease on the body. It attacks the person's immune system whenever it is activated." She closed her eyes again. "And those who have the Oshokune can never turn it off."

"Oh."

"Those who activate it are also hated by all the other members of the clan for having such power. It's probably because the first person who unlocked the Oshokune used it to slaughter many Hyuga and Uchiha in an attempt to show 'who was in control'."

"What happened to him?"

"_She_ died because of heart failure in the middle of battling the Hyuga and Uchiha clan heads."

"Sorry. How old was she?"

Eruza gave Zetsu a strange look. "You ask too many questions. But she was 35."

"Ah. And how old are you?"

"13."

"What!" He gave a small start. "That means that you only have 23 years to live!"

"Not necessarily." She turned her head to look at him. "I'll die in between the ages of 30 and 40. The longest anyone with the Oshokune has lived in 39."

"So that's why you don't want to go back to your dad? I'm guessing he hates you?"

She gave a curt nod in affirmation. "Yup."

Zetsu's head whirled with the information. _**Oshokune…extremely powerful…can it be implanted into someone else?**__ Stop it! I mean it, stop it!_

"So what about you?"

"What?"

She rolled over so that she was on her stomach. "What's your story?"

"Er…" _I can't tell her the real reason why I'm here! _"I just…like tattoos. That's why my body is like this." he said lamely.

_**Smooth. Real smooth.**_

_Shut up!_

She waggled a finger in his face. "Ah ah. You're lying."

He hung his head. "How can you tell?"

She tapped at her eyes. "Chakra eyes. Duh. Your chakra gets disturbed whenever you lie."

_**Damn it!**_

"Whatever is going on in your mind, quit it. Two different chakras in one body are giving me a headache."

His head snapped up. "**You know about us? **How?"

She rolled her eyes. "It's not that hard to figure out. I mean, you talk with two different voices. There are only two logical conclusions. One: you have schizophrenia, which I doubted because you interrupted yourself and when you speak in one voice, your mouth doesn't move. So that gave me conclusion two: somehow, two people are one. Am I right?" It was more of a statement than a question.

"Uh…" His black half slapped his white half. "**Of course she's right, you fucking baka.**"

"So, I repeat…what's your story?"

Zetsu sighed. _No way around this then…better tell her._ "My full name is Shizen Zetsu. I'm from the Village Hidden in the Shadows, otherwise known as Kagushigakure. I'm sure you've heard of it." He gave her a hard look. We're kinda at war right now."

She wisely said nothing and motioned for him to continue.

"My clan specializes in plant and genetic ninjutsu. I am currently next in line to be clan head. Well, actually, **I was going to be head, but there was…a little issue…**"

"What happened?"

"Hold on." _Should we split? __**What? Hell no! This would just give her more reason to be afraid of us! We need this girl on our side! She can't run away now! **__We need to prove our point though. __**Sigh…fine.**_

With a great mental effort, Zetsu began to split himself. Eruza's amber eyes widened as he eventually split himself, the middle of them being a sort of white goop.

"What happened to you?" she whispered, concern in her eyes.

"**I am Kuro. The white half of Zetsu is my twin, Shiro. I was incredibly sick,**" his black half answered, "**so our father wanted to find a way to make me healthy. I was his favorite. Shiro was too weak-minded to ever lead the clan. They, my father and the clan elders, decided to somehow suck Shiro into my body, giving me his body health but allowing me to retain control of my mind.**"

"They thought that it would work because we are twins," Shiro said. "But it went horribly wrong."

"**At the last second, our father decided to add a venus flytrap into the mix to give me the special abilities of one.**" Kuro's face twisted in disgust. "**Most of my clan are cannibals, but neither I nor Shiro was one. I guess that he wanted to convince me that cannibalism was the way to go, for some odd reason.**"

"The jutsu failed horribly. The people performing the jutsu had to scramble at the last minute to add the components of a plant. What they had wasn't good enough. All three of us merged into one body. Zetsu's body. Our father decided that, as a semi-failed experiment, that was would be his 'weed' and find information."*

"Why?" Eruza asked.

Shiro gave her a cold look. "Father is planning a coup-de-tat on the village. He wants to prove to the rest of the village that we are to be feared and respected, not just feared. Some former experience with other clan heads prompted this."

"**Dad's always been a little bit on the kooky side.**"

"I'd say he's a bit more than kooky."

**"Shut the fuck up."**

"I see…" Eruza closed her eyes and steeled her nerves. "What happened to the flytrap part of you?"

"Um… hold on…" Shiro and Kuro merged again, eventually settling into Zetsu. "Look down our collar."

She did so and gasped. "What…what is that?"

"**That's where the flytrap went. Well, that and the cannibalism,**" Kuro said. "**It's been growing ever since we were combined.**"

"But…but…it's growing around your neck!"

"**No duh."**

She took a couple of deep breaths to calm herself (again…) and asked, "So why are you here?"

"Oh…I'm actually here with my team. I'm taking my genin test."

"So there are other Kagushi nin here?"

"**If you count Taidana-sensei, then yes, there are. My teammates and I aren't officially ninja yet.**"

Eruza gave a small start. "Taidana? As in, Nara Taidana?"

"Um…yeah…"

"Do you know who she is? She—"

"There she is!" They turned to see the ninja that had been pursuing Eruza in the distance.

"Crap!" She hastily got up. "Sorry, Zetsu, I gotta go! Bye!" With that, she took off running.

Zetsu looked up at the sky. _Mekishiko Eruza, huh…what an odd girl…**and what a useful girl...kukukuku...**_

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><p><strong>*For those of you who don't know, "Zetsu" means "weed" in Japanese.<strong>

**Review please!**

**Thanks to ****The-Magical-Bookworm******, BlueSakuraAC, and TNTkitten** ****for reviewing! You guys rock, un! :3**

**Sasuke. Lacks. Hatred.**

**Review! :D**


	9. Chapter 9

**GOMEN GOMEN GOMEN GOMEN! I AM SO SO SO SORRY! I meant to update sooner, but Fanfiction was being an ass and I didn't have any time! And then my parents wanted me to study for the SAT…GAAAAH!**

**Can't promise that this chapter is as great as my previous ones, but I tried. I really did. It's the third longest chapter, if that means anything.**

**Edited: May 20, 2012**

* * *

><p>After Taidana and Zetsu had left them, Tobi and Yinasni wandered through the streets of Konoha, looking for something to do. Well, it was more Tobi dragging Yinasni around than walking peacefully, as Yinasni had taken up a grim countenance and sent glares towards Konoha nin that could set fires.<p>

Finally Tobi stopped near an abandoned training ground. "Look, Yin," he said sternly. "You need to stop sending death glares towards everyone you see. Not every Konoha nin is the same."

"Says you," she spat out. "My mother was killed by those ninjas! Don't I at least have the right to be angry? And what about you?"

"Me?"

"Yes you. Your mother actually worked for that filth! She willingly went along with them! In essence, she betrayed our village! She is no worse than scum and—"

"Don't you DARE say anything against my mom!" Tobi yelled angrily.

Yinasni immediately closed her mouth. The subject of their mothers was a touchy one. Neither of them particularly enjoyed talking about them.

"Sorry," she apologized. "That was over the line."

"It's alright," he responded, although the muscles tensing and relaxing said otherwise.

After a brief pause, Yinasni tugged on his arm. "C'mon, let's go check out the Academy. This is boring."

"As long as you promise not to kill anyone," Tobi said, "then okay."

"Yay!"

"…Are you bipolar or something?"

Yinasni slapped him on the back of the head. "Don't be stupid."

"Huh," Yinasni said. "So this is the Konoha Ninja Academy." She sat on a swing that hung right outside the school. "Doesn't look like much."

"The students will be coming out for recess soon," Tobi said. "We should probably scout them out, make sure none of them are really threats." _To us,_ he added in his mind.

"Right," she agreed, standing up.

Sure enough, in a few minutes young children began scrambling out of the doors. It was the two children at the back, however, that caught their attention.

"Obito! C'mon already!" There was a raven-haired boy tugging on the arm of a yawning boy. "Kami, you're so lazy!"

"So what, Shisui?" the other responded, rubbing his eye with his free hand.

"I wanna play!" Shisui whined. "Just because you're smart doesn't mean that you have to sleep in class."

"Why not?" Obito asked. "I get all the info anyways. You're just upset cuz you have to work at it."

"Shut up!" Shisui hit Obito on the back of the head, fully waking him up. "Bet I'll get my Sharingan before you!"

"What is Sharingan?" Yinasni asked Tobi.

"It's the Uchiha clan's dojutsu kekkei genkai," Tobi explained, keeping his eye on the two. "It's really powerful. I'll tell you the details later."

"Pshaw! No way," Obito said, rubbing the back of his head. "I'm still and will always be better than you."

"I'll bet you fifty ryo that I'm gonna get my Sharingan first!" Shisui declared in a loud voice.

"I'll take that bet." Obito grinned and stuck out his hand. Shisui took it and they shook once.

"Let's go hang out with Kushina!" Obito said.

Shisui blinked. "Her? But she's gonna graduate this year! We just started!"

"So what?" Obito said. "She's still someone to play with."

"Okay, fine! Now let's go!" Shisui grabbed Obito's arm and ran over to where a redheaded girl with blue eyes was practicing her kunai throwing.

"Hey Kushina!" he said happily. "Can we join you?"

The kid that Tobi guessed was Kushina smiled. "Of course, dattebane!" She moved over and said, "First person to get five kunai in the center gets ramen from the losers! GO!"

"Huh?" Obito, still slightly out of it, scrambled to pull out his kunai. But before any of them could throw their weapons, five kunai flew from behind them, avoiding them, and all hit the center. It was perfect.

Kushina spun around to see a blonde boy with blue eyes walking towards them. "Minato!" she wailed. "You idiot! You just _had_ to butt in and show what a genius you are, didn't you?" Huffing angrily, she walked towards him, punched him on the head, and stalked away.

"Ow." Minato rubbed his head. "That hurt."

Tobi lost interest in the children. He turned to Yinasni. "Hey Yin, wanna go find some dango?"

"Huh? What?" He facepalmed when he saw Yinasni waking up.

"Honestly, Yin…I was talking to you only a minute ago."

"Sorry I zoned out! This is boring. But I heard you say dango so….LET'S GO!" She grabbed his arm and raced away, dragging a poor Tobi behind her.

She raced around Konoha, Tobi somehow managing to stay with her. She skidded to a stop when she smelled…"Mmm…dango." She turned to Tobi. "Want any?"

"Nah, I'll stay out here. You run in and grab some. After you're done, we'd better leave."

"OK!" Yinasni raced inside, yelling happily about her precious dango.

Tobi waited. And waited. And waited. Some civilian girls sent him flirtatious looks (which he blatantly ignored). He waited some more. He walked in a circle. He practiced taijutsu (which attracted a crowd…which he sent away). Extremely bored, he sat down at a bench and fell asleep.

Finally, Yinasni exited the dango shop with a boisterous laugh that roused Tobi. He looked up to see Yinasni and a man with short brown hair laughing as they exited the shop, dango in hand. The man was wearing a flak jacket, along with a black shirt with some sort of symbol on the shoulders, shin-guards and a black, open-front apron with white diamonds on the bottom. Even though he was laughing, he sent a glance Tobi's way, giving Tobi the impression that this man was not someone to be trifled with.

Yinasni waved to him. "Hey Tobi! This is Fugaku Uchiha. He's the head of the Uchiha clan here, and he's really nice!"

"How do you do, sir?" Tobi bowed. _So much for leaving immediately._

"Hm," Fugaku said gruffly. "Respectful. That's good."

_Uh…_

"Fugaku invited us to come visit his clan's compound!" Yinasni was practically bursting with excitement. "C'mon, Tobi! We won't get another chance like this! And I always said that you were similar to the Uchiha. Maybe you'll find your long-lost brother in there or something!"

"Okay, okay!" he laughed. "Calm down, Yin. It's just a clan compound."

"I assure you, my clan is no mere clan," Fugaku said proudly. "We are Konoha's Police Force. We protect the streets and keep the home safe so that the shinobi can have peace of mind when they are out and about doing their duties to the village!"

"Right…" Tobi just sighed. "Let's go."

Suddenly, ANBU appeared, circling around Tobi and Yinasni. "You two! You are to be brought in for an interrogation with the Hokage."

Fugaku looked flabbergasted. "What?"

"Uh…aw crap sorry Mr. Uchiha but we kinda gotta go byeeeeeeee!" Together, Tobi and Yinasni tore off towards the exit, somehow managing to evade the ANBU surrounding them.

"Stop them!" one of the ANBU yelled. "They're the ninja from Kagushi!" They raced after the pair.

"Tobi, they're ANBU! They're gonna catch us!" Yinasni yelled, panicked.

"Yin…"

"Yeah?"

"You're an Erito, aren't you?"

"Yeah…"

"THEN USE YOUR CLAN'S KEKKEI GENKAI!"

"But—"

"JUST USE IT GODDAMMIT!"

"Fine!" Yinasni closed her eyes, grabbed Tobi's wrist, and whispered, "Gami." Instantly her body as well as Tobi's body began to darken, tendrils of darkness weaving their way around them. She ducked into an alleyway and stepped into a shadow, making sure that Tobi was submerged in the shadows as well.

The ANBU screeched to a halt in the entrance of the alley. "I saw them duck in here, sir," a woman with a bear's mask said. "They can't be too far off."

"Search everywhere!" the presumed captain ordered gruffly. "They've got to be here."

The ANBU spread out, checking every nook and cranny with various jutsu. Tobi held his breath a one with a deer's mask closed in on his and Yinasni's hiding place. Deer moved closer and closer…

…And passed right through them.

Tobi breathed a sigh of relief…which the ANBU heard. Deer's head whipped around, staring at the spot where Tobi was. He held his breath, not daring to move a muscle. Be still, be still, be still…

"ACHOO!"

"GODDAMMIT YIN!" Tobi punched the nearest ANBU in the head, shoved Yinasni in front of him, yelled "RUN!" at the top of his lungs, and ran towards the entrance gate like all hell was after him.

They eventually saw Zetsu coming into view. He was already to the gate…snoozing.

"Wake up!" hollered Tobi.

Zetsu awoke with a start. "Hm…what? **Wake up, you fucker.**"

"We've got to go now!"

"Fine, fine," he grumbled, pulling himself up.

Taidana shushined next to him. "Yo, what's up?"

"Where's your Risupu disguise?" Zetsu asked.

"Oh dammit…" Taidana put down a small bag that she had been carrying. "Now let's—"

"TIME TO GO SENSEI!" Tobi yelled. "WE'VE GOT ANBU!"

Taidana facepalmed. _Why did I not see this coming?_ "Zetsu! Up! Let's go."

"Hai, Taidana-sensei," he said.

_Wait…did Tobi say ANBU? Mother of all fuckers…_

"HURRY! RUN TO THE FOREST!" she yelled at the top of her lungs. "I'LL MEET YOU THERE." Taidana turned her glance onto the approaching ANBU as Tobi and Yinasni passed her. "I've got some unfinished business with these guys."

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><p>"Where is she?" Tobi whined. "We've been waiting for hours."<p>

"She had to hold back the ANBU," Yinasni explained. "It's not like we could've taken them. We're not even genin."

"**She's coming,**" Zetsu said, appearing behind them. "She looks like she's got some injuries, so pull out the first-aid kit."

"Right." Just as Tobi fished out his first-aid kit from his pouch, Taidana limped into view.

A small smile graced her face. "You're all alive…that's good."

"Mm-hm. **Sit.**" Zetsu gestured to a rock that was relatively flat. "I'll tend to your wounds. Tobi, hand me the kit."

"I didn't know that you knew first aid," Tobi said.

"There's a lot of stuff about me that you don't know," Zetsu shot back in an even voice, wrapping gauze around Taidana's bleeding arm.

"Taidana-sensei, it's time to tell us what the hell is going on," Yinasni demanded, arms crossed. "Why did we even go to Konoha in the first place? We could've done what Tori's sensei Ningen did and just done some D-rank mission."

"You actually care about what Tori says now?" Tobi asked, a slight note of contempt creeping into his voice.

Yinasni blushed. "Tha…that's none of your business."

Taidana sighed. "Fine. I'll tell you everything. You better sit down , cuz this is gonna be a long story."

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><p><strong>Thanks to <strong>**Thunder Krystal**** and BlueSakuraAC ****for reviewing! You guys rock, un! :3**

**I'm gonna change the title to "Memoirs of a Good Boy" on May 10th, the same day that I am cleaning my profile. I plan to have a series of this type of fic. I'm thinking of "Memoirs of a Lone Shark", "Memoirs of a God", "Memoirs of an Angel", "Memoirs of a Passionate Artist", "Memoirs of the Rejected", and so on and so forth. They will all be kinda centered on "Memoirs of a Good Boy". (If you can guess what stories I'm planning on writing according to these titles, I will include your OC in my story. Put your OC in your review. I will need name, age, village [either Kagushi or Konoha], personality, and appearance [hair, eyes, height, skin color, any sort of scars, and clothing].)**

**I'm gonna be cruel and set a review standard for updates because I'm a Review Whore. I live on reviews. Seriously. That and meat. And shirtless pictures of the male members of the Akatsuki. And "The Legend of Korra". I WILL NOT UPDATE UNTIL I GET 30 REVIEWS! So there. Maybe that'll give me some time to work on the next chapter.**

**Freakishly long author's note…sorry. **

**Sasuke. Lacks. Hatred.**

**Later. :D**


	10. Chapter 10

**Allow me to bash my head against the wall and lose a couple hundred brain cells. I'm so sorry that this is so late! I told you guys that I would update when I got to 30 reviews…well, life got in the way. And a four-week vacation to China.**

**I do not own Naruto.**

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><p><strong>Taidana's story<strong>

I was born into an important position in the Nara clan. I was the clan heiress, and from an early age I was taught how to act, how to dress, how to speak...basically everything that is expected of a clan head.

And I hated every single fucking minute of it.

Why? I yearned for freedom. The desire was in my very core of being. I was always and will always remain a free spirit. Having others decide my life for me was pure torture.

Oh, I tried to rebel. I did. But those "raising" me would make me hush up or tighten that damned sash around my waist so that I couldn't breathe.

I was able to stand it to a certain extent. That's because I knew that when I turned nine I would enter the Academy, and I would learn how to be a ninja. I would've gone early if I could've, but my parents said some bullshit about it being "improper". I thought I would be free when I graduated and got my own team. I'd spend days daydreaming about the various missions I would go on - the majority of these daydreams usually ended with me saving the day.

But of course, those dreams came crashing down when my parents signed me up for kunoichi classes on the side. There I learned how to wear and fight in a battle kimono (which really isn't that much better than a normal kimono), how to perform the tea ceremony, how to hide weapons in every single inch of my body, and—the worst part—how to seduce men. Apparently even clan heiresses aren't spared from these missions.

Then the day that I had awaited arrived. It was time to graduate the Academy and get my genin team. I was happy, excited. I wasn't good at making friends, and was hoping that there would be at least one other girl on my team that I could call "friend".

So you can well imagine my disappointment when I heard my name called with two other boys. A stuck-up prick and someone who usually hung around in the background. A Hyuga Chusei and Yuki Kenji.

Our soon-to-be instructor, Shiryoku Heiwa, was finishing his last mission before taking us as his team, so he was a bit late. As a result, the three of us were stuck in the classroom while everyone else left with their instructors.

I tried to strike up a conversation with my teammates. "Hi, I'm Nara Taidana. So...you guys are gonna be on my team?"

"Yup!" The one with wavy blonde hair said with a wink and a grin, standing up to strike a "cool" pose. "I'm Kenji."

I stared at him for a few seconds. "...You're short."

"H-hey! Don't make fun of me!" he whined, abandoning his pose to flap his arms about immaturely. "That's not nice!"

"No shit," I replied. "But I wasn't making fun of you. I was making an observation."

"Oh." He paused from his fake-bawling and ran over to me, throwing a sleeveless arm around my shoulders. "Then I think we'll be great friends!"

That brought a smile to my face. "Cool!"

"Name's Hyuga Chusei." The voice came from my other teammate, a boy with long brown hair and pupiless eyes. "So you're the kunoichi in my team? …Pah, you look weak."

My smile vanished instantly. I shook myself out Kenji's embrace, walked over to Chusei, and proceeded to beat the living daylights out of him using only taijutsu, accentuating each punch with a word. "Shut...up...you...fucker...fuck... you... (etc.)"

In the background, Kenji was shouting. "Hell yes! Don't call kunoichi weak! Actually, don't call women weak in general..." He then would occasionally mutter about an incident concerning his mother, a rooster, and a pair of chakra-infused machetes.

(I was fortunate that Chusei wasn't very adept at the Gentle Fist yet, else he would've stopped me the moment I started punching.)

That was how Heiwa-sensei found us. The kunoichi punching one of her teammates while the other cheered her on (and occasionally muttered things like "Women are scary").

"Alright, break it up!" He strode over to us and shoved me away from the bruised and bloody Chusei. He gave me a hard stare, but I just glared back. He sighed. "I'm your sensei. Sit down, don't kill your teammates, and state your name, dreams, likes, dislikes, yada yada yada."

"Huh?" Kenji tilted his head to the side, confused.

Heiwa-sensei sighed. "I'll give you an example. My name is Shiryoku Heiwa. I like things, and I dislike things. My dream is to have a nice pair of socks. Ya know, something ridiculous like that."

"Then I'll go first!" I said eagerly, hoping to make a good first impression. Somehow I managed to forget that beating up your teammate isn't the best first impression. And I missed the fact that Heiwa-sensei basically called our dreams stupid. "My name is Nara Taidana. I like eating, sleeping, reading, and cloud watching. I dislike working and people who judge a book by its cover. My dream is to be the first female Kage ever!"

"If you dislike working, then how are you going to be a Kage?" Chusei asked in his stuck-up prissy voice, wiping away blood from his mouth.

I didn't say anything, just held up a fist.

Chusei wisely shut up.

"Okay, thanks Bubbly," Heiwa-sensei said. "Wait, you're a bubbly Nara, that's just not right."

I turned my glare towards him. "Fuck off."

He shuddered. "Okay...next. B 'n' B."

"B 'n' B?" Kenji wondered out loud.

Heiwa-sensei pointed at Chusei. "Bruised 'n' Bloody."

"Hmph." Chusei tossed his hair back. "My name is Chusei, Hyuga Chusei. I...am a Hyuga supremacist. I hate traitors...and out-of-line teammates. I despise sour foods and I like plain food, Hyugas, and the village."

I'm pretty sure Kenji and I had the same thought at that moment: Prissy brat!

Then an evil smile appeared on my face as a thought came to me. "Hey...you said you like Hyugas, right?"

"But of course," he scoffed. "After all, we ARE the most powerful clan in Konoha."

Ignoring the subtle jab, I stood up, walked over, and leaned over him. "Does that mean...that you are into incest?"

He spluttered and turned bright red. "D-don't go about disrespecting my clan like that!"

Kenji smirked. "He didn't deny it! He likes it!"

"Blackmail material!" I cheered, high-fiving Kenji. "Heiwa-sensei, isn't Hyuga-san pitiful—Heiwa-sensei, why are you banging your head against the wall—Heiwa-sensei, you'll lose brain cells that way—Heiwa-sensei!"

In the end we had to drag him to the Academy's infirmary. We never quite got around to Kenji's introduction. Heiwa-sensei never got to give him a "B" nickname.

Then came the infamous test. In Konoha, only about 30% of the graduating class ended up as ninjas. The rest were sent back to the Academy for another year of studying.

Our test sounded simple enough. "Find a way to subdue me for more than five seconds."

Of course, the reality that he was a jonin-level shinobi and we were fucking genin set in when after ten minutes of valiant attempts, we still hadn't caught him. So what do we do? Decide that teamwork is the way to go and pass the test?

Fuck no, we were Team 4. Basically, there was no way that Chusei would work with either Kenji or me, as we were of "lower blood". I gave him a black eye for that.

So we eventually caught Heiwa-sensei by pure chance. Kenji had been chewing "Super Gum" at the beginning of the test, and had spit it out onto a rock. Heiwa-sensei stepped on it on accident and was stuck. Kenji tackled him into the river and held him there using ninja wire.

He called us "lucky brats" and admitted that we had taken advantage of a lucky situation. But, he warned us, things won't always turn out as great as the test. Something could go horribly wrong.

He lectured for some more, but I wasn't listening. I was getting ready to walk home and rub it into the face of my sister that I was a ninja, and that she wasn't.

Heiwa-sensei trained us every day, because he said (and I quote), "There's no way in hell I'm gonna have a team of rookies stay rookies. Train, get better, get promoted, get famous, retire. That's pretty much every shinobi's life plan. You guys are still at training level. So work your asses off and—TAIDANA! We do NOT use the back of our teammate's head as a target! That goes for you too, Kenji!"

Ah, good times.

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><p>"But then, on one mission, we—you fuckers asleep?" Taidana looked at her team to find them fast asleep. Yinasni was lightly snoring. Zetsu was dozing against a tree, still standing. Tobi's snores were shaking the canopy above them, causing birds to fly out.<p>

"Assholes," the Nara muttered in a somewhat good-natured manner. "I didn't even get to the part where I saved the day." Sighing, she put the fire out, raised a dome of earth around the camp to protect her team, and headed to her bedroll. But, for whatever reason, she couldn't shake off the feeling that something bad was going to happen.

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><p><strong>Thanks to <strong>**TNTkitten****, ****xxYou-shall-be-my-Squishyxx****, ****BlueSakuraAC****, ****Amaya Sakaruta****, ****The-Magical-Bookworm****, ****Thunder Krystal****, ****Clumsy0132****, ****Tinchie****, and the anonymous reviewers ****Imtolazytologin**** and ****Coatlique**** for reviewing! You all rock, un! :3**

**Alright. For the anonymous reviewer ****Imtolazytologin**** that didn't get it in Chapter 7: Taidana's son is Nara Shikaku. Shikaku's genin team was the original Ino-Shika-Cho trio. The original Ino-Shika-Cho trio was Nara Shikaku, Yamanaka Inoichi, and Akimichi Choza. Shikaku is the father of Shikamaru, Inoichi is the father of Ino, and Choza is the father of Choji. The trio is from Konoha. The Kagushi ninja are in Konoha from chapters 6 to 9. I DID NOT MAKE UP SHIKAKU, INOICHI, AND CHOZA. THEY ARE SHIKAMARU'S, INO'S, AND CHOJI'S DADS RESPECTIVELY. Chusei is an OC, though. I wish that you had logged in, though, so that I could send this to you privately.**

**Okay…let's aim for 45 reviews!**

**Oh yeah, and for the OC contest, here are the scores!**

Thunder Krystal - 4/5

Amaya Sakaruta - 3/5

Tinchie - 4/5

TNTkitten - 4/5

**Uh…since I'm too lazy, can ****Thunder Krystal**** and ****Tinchie**** send me their OCs? TNTkitten already gave me her OC. Thanks, guys!**

**Sasuke. Lacks. Hatred. Like I lack sleep.**

**Later. :D**


	11. Hiatus sorry guys!

When Taidana opened her eyes, she was surprised to see an expanse of whiteness before her. She leapt up and pulled out a kunai, eyes darting every which way. "Is anyone there?" she called.

A sigh answered her.

"Where am I?" she yelled. "What's going on?"

"The writer's block..." a voice muttered. "It won't lift."

"Writer's block?" the Nara echoed. "What's that?"

The voice just sighed again. "Hiatus? Or no?"

"What's hiatus?" Taidana was getting annoyed at this strange voice.

"I don't like when other authors put their works on hiatus," the voice continued. "But I'm so stuck on what to write next...and I've got other projects that I want to work on...hiatus or no? Hmm...very well. Hiatus no Jutsu."

Suddenly a giant block of words fell from the white sky. They crushed the Nara underneath them, and she could feel her ribs snap. She howled in pain.

"I apologize, my poor OC," the voice murmured. A figure appeared and knelt down next to Taidana. It was a girl with short black hair wearing black clothing. "I'm truly sorry for putting you through this pain, but I'm going to store you away for a while. Please be patient - I will return to you, but I am stuck as to what to do right now with you. Forgive me."

Taidana gasped for air but managed to give the girl a steely-eyed glare. "What the fuck are you talking about? What are you doing? What kind of jutsu is this?"

The girl didn't respond but instead stood up and began to walk away. "I apologize, Nara Taidana," said Nara gave a small start when the girl used her full name. "I will be back."

"Get back here!" The demand was sharp, but the voice was weak. "Don't leave me."

"I'm sorry." The girl turned back, and Taidana registered regret in her eyes before the figure dissolved into the whiteness.


End file.
